It is another day inside my hell, and it seems to be my eternity. I thought as the days pass I would begin to feel better. Instead everyday I fall deeper into this bottomless pit. I no long understand the concept of joy. Happiness is a mere illusion which presents itself in the smiles of other people. Everyone seems so happy! Ready to live out their meaningful lives. It makes me feel sick. I truly miss the feeling but it is something impossible for me to remember. It is hard to enjoy pleasant memories when all they do is remind you of the pitiful thing you have become. The beautiful memories of the times me and her spent saddens me. This is so fucking difficult. I cannot put into words the amount of torture I am going through. I am so pitiful.
I have decided I must see her. If I continue down the same path I will lose myself to the broken man I am slowly becoming. Maybe I have been wrong this whole time. Just the thought of seeing her tears me apart. I hope I’m not making a mistake, but if feels so much better knowing I will have the chance to show her the love I carry.
